This is my firs blog post in four years. Well, it's been four years since I moved to Pittsburgh and now it's getting closer and closer for me to move away. I wonder why it took me four years to come up with a single blog post. The better question is, what have I been doing in the past four years. I can simply say that I was doing my best to get through college. Or was I?
I have learned things, things that are not taught in class. Becoming good at debating politics doesn't really help me find out who I am. I certainly haven't got any outstanding accomplishment that I can proudly present to a stranger who barely has timely to criticize. But I have been true to my feelings and the experimental direction I took. I wanted to find out what I really want in my life and what would make me not regret the choices I made and the time I spent decades later. I want to find out what makes me me. I still haven't gotten all the answers yet. Maybe it will come to me when I wake up tomorrow morning. Maybe it will never occur to me.
I have decided that being depressed is rather good for me sometimes, when I feel that I can't make it through the day and I want to run away. Other times I try desperately to pull myself together. Too much seems to be happening simultaneously and it overwhelms me. No matter what it is, I wish I can sing through the day and hope that I will be falling asleep listening to a sweet lullaby just for me.
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